Let’s recap the past 24 hours, and remind ourselves of things that are real. One, The Pittsburgh Penguins are now down three games to none against the Flyers. Two, Andy Carroll can actually score goals when it matters. Three, Axl Rose is a giant sack of loose butthole. Four, Tupac, or some incarnation, performed at Coachella (If you’re not sure what Coachella is, you’ve most likely heard it referred to as Brochella which, per usual, is a better name for said festival.)
Allow me to delve further into this… hologram phenomenon. As I’m sure many of you saw (on a webcast, in person, or from an email that’s been forwarded around your office to no end), the most active deceased artist in rap history made an appearance at Coachella via hologram technology. Yes, we are now resorting to holograms because most of the current rappers and pop stars gargle some serious balls, and we have to turn to the stars of The 90s. Pac performed three songs with Snoop Dogg, ”Come With Me,” “Hail Mary,” and “Gangsta Party,” and in all honesty, it achieved what it needed to achieve: shock value with a hint of look-what-else-we-can-do-with-computers. I’ll be the first to admit, it was pretty cool at first, a little scary, but cool. Additionally, it forced me to look at myself because I called up my local gym to get in shape, because if a hologram can have better abs than me, there is something seriously wrong.
Naturally, the internet took it upon itself to get the wheels spinning on a game of “HOW MUCH FURTHER CAN WE PUSH THIS?!?!” It got me thinking, “Is this really something good for the music world?” I started seeing tweets, last night, joking about Holo-Beatles, Facebook posts about a Holo-Jerry Garcia, and I actually received a telegram (WHO USES TELEGRAMS!?) for a pelvis thrusting Holo-Elvis. It was nice fun and games until someone mentioned the idea of Dave Matthews Band using a hologram to replace the late, great, horn-blowing angel LeRoi Moore.
Roi holds a special place in my heart, and this got me thinking. Is the use of hologram technology REALLY the best thing for our late musical heroes? Picture this: A year down the road… walking into Citi Field to The Holo-Beatles with a holo-John Lennon and a holo-George Harrison. Does that not reek of greed, and a desperate attempt to further cash in on a creature that once existed, but now the myth is all we have left? I’ll take it one step further… Picture a DMB with a holo-LeRoi at The Gorge (For all DMB naysayers, please close your eyes and look away.) Wouldn’t this leave you left with an empty feeling?
The point I’m making is that this hologram usage is neat, BUT ONLY IN MODERATION (not unlike McDonalds Chicken McBites which are seriously amazing. I suggest buffalo sauce). If there are bands or labels, that were to try this, they would be stealing your money with a cheap attempt to recreate something that you hold in your mind, body, and soul as being something special. I would never want to see The Beatles if it meant there are pixelated versions of Lennon and Harrison, The Dead with a computer generated Jerry, or DMB with an artificial Roi. Because none of these musicians should be recreated. Let their memories be preserved in their music, and let them rest in peace, instead of trying to dig deep into a pinata full of cash. Save the holograms as a joke or gimmick, but don’t ruin our memories.
If you haven’t seen the video, check it out, and try not to be intimidated by his abs….